hisandhermit

2007-08-08T10:11:00.000-07:00

SHELL FIGHT

Due to recent developments with Kristie and Lunchbox, His and Hermit is taking a break and sending them to separate cages. Late in the day Saturday August 4th they were found after an apparent Shell fight believed to have been brought about by the extreme summer heat. Lunchbox was found naked and hiding in his Coco Hut while Kristie badly injured suffered the amputation of her large front claw. Both parties were quickly rushed to the sink were they were cleaned and returned to separate cages. Lunchbox quickly regained a shell while Kristie remained stunned and motionless, but still alive. Both parties have been watched closely with Lunchbox quickly recovering. Kristie however still remains in critical condition. It is doubtful that she will ever be able to compete in the Olympics again, but we all hope that she will regain her strength to crawl again. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers in this tough time.

2007-07-16T07:16:00.000-07:00

Kristie Yamaguchi reviews the i-Phone

For my first assignment here at His and Hermit I was tasked with checking out the new Apple i-Phone. Being a pretty conservative crab myself I must say that I didn't buy into the hype or the movie trailer-like promotion of this product, but the long lines outside the apple store did peak my interest. So like the masses i hunkered down in my shell and spent the night outside waiting for my chance at Apple-crack.
After many hours waiting, not to mention the number of kids that picked me up and turned me over on my shell, I finally got my i-Phone back to my cage for inspection. It's $600 price tag was a little shocking, but more shocking was the servitude I would have to face to AT&T for the length of my i-Phone relationship. But I sucked it up, signed my life away and started mindlessly adding my i-Tunes and i-Photo library to it. That's one big downside to i-Phone without your commitment to AT&T your phone is rendered useless as a plasic palm tree unless you commit to a two year contract, bringing the total cost of your i-Phone to a cost of over $2,500 which for a crab who's calling area is a 12"x18" glass cage is a little excessive. So I give i-Phone 2 out of five gold medals because while it is cool it's still just a phone.

2007-07-15T15:48:00.000-07:00

Introducing our new CocoHut

2007-07-15T15:39:00.001-07:00

Welcome Kristie Yamaguchi

Well it's been a while since we've written, but there is a lot of great things happening here at His and Hermit. We have a new correspondent. Since the passing of our dearest Chinstrap we wanted to work long and hard to find a replacement. Of course a crab like Chinstrap could never really be replaced. We decided that we needed to look long in hard in the cages across our great country for a crab that could raise the bar. Finally after a tireless search we found a new crab in a PetSmart far, far away.
We know are happy to introduce Kristie Yamaguchi who will not only do a great job keeping us up on breaking celeb news, but also brings an Olympic commitment to the His and Hermit team. We are excited to have her as part of the team. Lunchbox couldn't make a formal speech, but did say "I'm happy to have her with us. Chinstrap will be missed and we hope to do his memory justice."

2007-04-04T20:38:00.000-07:00

A sad day has come to all of us here at His and Hermit. In light of recent celeb deaths in the past month we are sad to announce a recent passing of our very own Chinstrap. We were all surprised by the passing. He was found early morning in his cage sans his shell in an apparent botched molting attempt. People close to the crab reported that he was happy and upbeat in his shell with no sign that he was ready to move on. Currently his cagemate Lunchbox is being held for questioning but for the most part foul play has been ruled out.
Chinstrap was loved by everyone and even though he is gone he will not be forgotten. No word about whether or not he will be replace in the cage but most certainly the site will go on with Lunchbox and current guest cohost "Frogs" an aqua frog from a west coast office park.

2007-01-12T08:27:00.000-08:00

STRAIGHT FROM THE SHELL

J-Tim and Cameron's break - up

Well, it's been a year of break-ups. Kevin and Brittney, Jennifer and Vince and now J-Tim and Cameron. Sources say Cameron is devastated by the bitter break-up which has been rumored for quite some time. This crab blames it all on JT. He's young, got a hot new album out and is known to be bit of a partier. Rumors around JT's love affair with Cameron's enemy Scarlet Johansson make this break-up even more painful. After a three year relationship I think we were all hoping for a happily ever after only to get another case of an older woman left heart broken when her boy toy flew the toy bin. Sorry Cameron we still think you're a perfect angel.

2006-11-29T10:47:00.000-08:00

LUNCHBOX AND CHINSTRAPS CHRISTMAS LIST

Okay guys we've been good hermit crabs this year. So please don't forget it.

1- A new hut

2- A new shell

3- A Nintendo Wii

4- A plate of sausage

Just these few things will make sure that we will stay cute and kind this next year. Our shells may be hard, but our hearts are soft.

- Lunchbox & Chinstrap

2006-11-20T13:32:00.000-08:00

Lunchbox reviews:
CASINO ROYALE

So this weekend I went to see the new James Bond remake Casino Royale staring the new Bond, Daniel Craig. I was pretty excited to see it because of all the hype around the new Bond. I was even more excited because it had been a long time since I'd seen something blow-up on screen (Chinstrap made me watch back to back "The Break-up" and "Prime" this weekend) so I was due for some action and adventure. Well the movie had all the makings of a great Bond film, great fight and chase scenes, fancy neat-o cars and gadgets and of course hot ladies. But my favorite part of the movie was the bad guy Le Chiffre. He looked the part from creepy hair to bleeding eye. I wish I could get my eye stalks to bleed like that. That is why I give Casino Royale five flaming palm trees of adventure on a scale of five.

2006-11-17T13:27:00.000-08:00

STRAIGHT FROM THE SHELL

"Kevin and Britney's break-up"

Well, I guess I kinda new it was bound to happen sooner or later. I know that Britney admits to being "country" but when she married this guy I thought for sure she'd bought the farm. Seriously, what was she thinking. She had to buy her own wedding ring. She did get two little boys out of the deal. Little Sean Preston and Jayden James. There marriage lasted two years which is 20 in Hollywood years and like 50 in Hermit Crab years. Well at least this will give Kevin more time to focus on his rap career and how many different ways he can say "Do you want fries with that?"

-Chinstrap

2006-11-17T12:12:00.000-08:00

LUNCHBOX AND CHINSTRAP REVIEW:
" Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan"

CHINSTRAP
While I have always been a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen since his I first watched the Ali G show. I left this movie a little disappointed. While I did laugh my shell off when called that guy "Vanilla Face." I got a little bored about 30 minutes into it. I felt that after I had seen on skit I'd seen them all. I think I was also a little distracted because Lunchbox was hogging all of the Sour Patch Kids, but whateves I still stick to my opinion and give Borat three and a half plastic palm trees out of five.

LUNCHBOX
Well, I totally disagree with Chinstrap. I thought Borat was shell splitting. I laughed till I almost molted myself. Seriously how could you not love a movie that has drinking, nudity, off color jokes, stereotypes and a giant bear! Seriously though it was freaking awesome, and I bought the Sour Patch Kids. Shouldn't I get to eat however many I want?! I think you should all run out and watch Borat, but probably without your parents and probably not if you are an underage child with an impressionable mind. But if your not, get going.
I give this an excited five plastic palm trees out of five!

2006-10-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

Crab Castle

2006-10-25T13:11:00.000-07:00

Hey there. I'm Chinstrap. I'm a little shy sometimes. This is me emerging from my shell like a butterfly. I'm pretty. I may be a little smaller than Lunchbox, but I'm fast and agile. I like to climb the water bowl and borrow underneath for warmth and protection.

2006-10-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hi! I'm Lunchbox. I'm a hermit crab. I've been around a while, my shell's lookin' a bit rough. I like to hide under my wood bits and I also like to listen to classic rock everyonce in a while. I'm also quite fond of sausage and old pepperoni.